He Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman. Danced like a woman. Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement... ! That’s when I thought “Wait a f’ing minute...”In the Pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath. Answer; throw in your washing.We were all having a good laugh about this, when this big bastard tapped me on the shoulder and said “I don’t find that very funny. My brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath during one of his fits...”I said “Sorry mate. Did he drown?”“No,” he said, “he choked on a sock.”The wife came out of the bathroom and said “I have just shaved my bits and you know what that means don’t you?”I said “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again.”An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was not used to the salt in. “I see,” I answered, “and can you tell us anything about the other Kluckers in town?”“There’s a dozen more, but all scattered around town. We didn’t prepare for Molotov cocktails. That one scared the piss out of even Floyd, and he’s our Grand Dragon. Once he ran, it was over. Please ... don’t shoot me ... you already got the guy who hit your friend here,” Eric assured me.“Help me find your friends, and we won’t shoot you. Though there still might be a consequence for y’all. You terrorized a whole damn town, after all. Why is Murphy’s Diner closed, by the way? Did you shut it down?” I demanded.“Not me personally, but it was n... , “ Eric started to say, but I shut him up with the back of my hand.“Don’t ever let me catch you saying that damn word, you racist prick! Who owned it and are they still alive?” I insisted.“The owner ... Ray Murphy ... he married a n ... Negress ... He was white himself. A race traitor, if you ask me, good Boston Irish guy marrying a colored woman. I mean ....
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